Amazon.com Review

For the protagonist of Elizabeth Berg's Until the Real Thing Comes Along, the biological clock is ticking all too loudly. Alas, there are no likely partners on the horizon for Patty Ann Murphy. Even an attractive, appropriately sensitive guy ends up giving her the heebie-jeebies: "Now he is turning my face toward him and kissing me and I feel that as soon as he stops I'll start screaming. I don't, of course. I say, 'Would you like some pretzels?'" The only man who doesn't inspire this kind of junk-food diversionary tactic is Patty's high-school sweetheart Ethan Gaines--but he happens to be gay. What's a woman of the '90s to do?

The answer: she persuades Ethan to impregnate her, and they agree to a marriage of true minds (if not bodies.) They won't, of course, actually marry, or even live together. But Patty signs on for a lifetime of child rearing with her sexually indifferent soul mate--and finds herself wading into a wealth of emotional complications. Will Ethan ever make love to her again? Will her parents accept her (essentially) single-mommy status? Berg manages to cast these thorny issues in a comedic light, without ever consigning Patty and her wisecracking cohorts to a complete farce. And there is that payoff at the end, when Ethan hands her the love child in the delivery room: With a tenderness I would not have thought possible in earth-bound humans, he gives her to me. Her wet head is cupped; her quivering chest is calmed. What have my hands been doing all my life before this? I see now that they too have just been born. I unwrap the blanket, stop breathing. Yes, Patty does eventually start breathing again. And readers will share her delight at the undeniable fact that the real thing has finally come along. --Anita Urquhart
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Leave it to Berg (What We Keep) to put a quirky, melancholic spin on the familiar story of an ordinary woman's quest for marriage and children. Sparkling and witty, this novel stars self-conscious dreamer Patty Murphy, a single, 36-year-old Massachusetts realtor who seesaws from hope to despair between blind dates and manicure appointments. She worries about the ticking of her biological clockAand how to "keep her eggs healthy"Aand although "it's been a long time since I've been kissed by anyone but family members," she tries to stay optimistic. The biggest barrier between Patty and her version of happily-ever-after is that Ethan, the man she's in love with, is not only her ex-fianc?e and lifelong best friend, but also gay. Ethan wants children, too, and eventually Patty talks him into having a baby with her. But will Patty, who's still desperate for Ethan's true love, be satisfied with what amounts to a compromise solution? Berg is facile in transforming familiar elements into apt metaphors, and her smooth transitions between tragedies and joys are punctuated with lively humor. Real life intrudes as background to Patty's dreams: Ethan struggles with his sexual orientation in the time of AIDS, and Patty copes with her mother's worsening Alzheimer's. In the face of these traumas, Patty's fixation on an idyllic apple-pie vision of domestic serenity can seem somewhat anachronistic, even frustrating, for the reader. Her longing for a different life wreaks emotional havoc for all who love her, especially as she manipulates the affectionate, lonely father-to-be. But even readers who don't empathize with Patty's neurotic but ultimately endearing search for domestic fulfillment will be affected by Berg's poignant and clever tale and her zestful combination of commercial and literary appeal. Agent, Lisa Bankoff for ICM. Major ad/promo; author tour; reading group guide. (July) FYI: Berg won the NEBA award for fiction in 1997.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.